This section is around to basically increase your chances of getting your quotes put up, getting your response replied to, or not having us bust through your door and beating your head in with a whiffle bat. Comprende, amigo? This is super muchacho information.
What the Holy God is this place? This is an enormous, constantly expanding ball of geeky fandom of the very worst kind. We catalogue possibly funny video game quotes. If you're familiar with video gaming at all, you should know that most console video games come from the nation of Japan. Japan is a nation famous for its creative mangling of the english language, so it comes as no surprise that a lot of games from the nation that revolutionized broken english are translated... Oddly, to say the least. Some people say 'badly', but there is a certain warm, fuzzy feeling a longtime game player gets when he looks at something like "GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE YOU NERD" or "YOU SPOONY BARD!" that one must ask "Would we even remember these games today if their translations weren't so mangled?" We also deal in funny dialogue that isn't mistranslated, but there's not a lot to say about that.
So, anyways, we spend hours, days, months of our lives cataloguing these quotes for you, and injecting our own brand of intrusive, unnecessary humor into the situation. And you'll like it, goddammit, because we tell you to like it. Please?
What are the guidelines for submitting stuff to you guys? If you want credit, send pictures. If we have to do the bulk of the work, you're not going to be getting the hordes of scantily clad nubile young women that come with being credited on Zany Video Game Quotes. And to answer another question, your hordes of scantily clad nubile young women can only be traded for nubile young women clad in equal or lesser amounts of clothing. Basic economics, y'know.
What we accept: Any official textual material related to the game: Screenshots, sounds, advertisements, arcade marquees, instructions, and possibly other things; just be sure that they are official.
What we don't accept: Quotes from fan translations (Unofficial, and also might be construed that we're debasing their work, which we aren't. To all fan translators: I love you all and hope that you'll someday translate Front Mission 2. I'm seriously willing to exchange sexual favors for a translation of that, really.), quotes from ROM hacks, quotes from "hong kong" pirate versions/hacks of games (a stone's throw away from a ROM hack), quotes with big fat logos from other websites, unless the contributor happens to work on that particular website. Visual gags (ex. midget dicksucking in Ring King), naming system gags (ex: 'I made you your favorite food, poop!' in Earthbound), quotes from other players in MMORPGs, and full songs that aren't like ten million years old and talk about little girls with powers inside (Meaning to chop up any quotes from game songs into little pieces)
We can throw out anything we don't want to put up. Don't be offended by this, there's more than enough crappy quotes from me put up during the early years of this site. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has had at least one quote rejected. Myself included of course; what seems funny at 4:00 AM sometimes turns out to be kind of blah the next day. Don't worry, we won't berate you if you send us quotes that we don't like, so just send anything and everything you think has the slightest chance of being up.
How to increase your chances of getting your stuff put up: Send picture files in GIF, JPEG, or PNG format - GIFs are really only good for animations these days, PNGs are best for still 256 or lower color images (They CAN be used for images with more colors than that, but they get big), and JPEGs are best for high color images. Send the game's title screen IF THE GAME IS NOT ALREADY IN OUR ARCHIVES. If it is, then don't bother (Unless you have a better quality title screen). Sound files should be in MP3 format, preferably encoded in mono at about 22 kHz, 48 kbps. If a clip is from a piece of music, it should be encoded in stereo at 44 kHz, 128 kbps.
And for God's sake, don't whine if your quotes haven't gone up. Your quotes are not your manhood/womanhood, playing through games for the sole purpose of getting quotes for us is silly and masochistic and you will get no pity from us, and perhaps you should rattle the idea that maybe we didn't find your quotes as uproarious and enlightening as they perhaps were for you.
How to expediate updates: See above
How to avoid having me throw you through a plate glass window in slow motion: See above
Where do I send quotes if I have them? Send them to submit AT zanyvgquotes.com.
You dumbasses have a bad link! Send all broken link reports to gildedmagnum AT shaw.ca.
You forgot a quote! Oh my God your page is just worthless without [quote]! If we haven't got to it yet, you'll have to either get it for us yourself or wait for someone to submit it. Either way, whining about it won't help one bit because WE DON'T CARE. Politely informing us is appreciated, though.
Tsk, tsk. Your video game tastes are terribly uncultured and you are so immature. Think about the word "game" for a second. Now, meditate on why video games weren't called "Video Chores" or "Video Urgent Matters of International Importance". Games are games, and what we think of them won't change anything in the world. We're not saying that you're a worthless human being because you play Dragon Warrior, we're saying that Dragon Warrior is a kludgy, dull, repetitive game. It's a comment on the game, not on you, so save yourself a lot of undue stress and shut the shit up.
OH MY GOD THE LANGUAGE IN MY EARS AND FACE HURGLEBLGBLBLG Deal with it, shitpisser.
What the hell is with the Legomen everywhere? They're not Legomen, despite the rather startling, almost plagiaristic resemblance. So don't call them Legomen, they're Kobun. Servbots if you're nasty. They come from the Megaman Legends/Rockman Dash/Tron Ni Kobun/Misadventures of Tron Bonne series, the game series loved by everyone whose heart is not a BLACKENED LUMP OF COAL. Anyways, they're 40 little sentient robots who work for the Bonne family of air pirates, and they always end up getting blown up, shot up or crushed; however they are pretty much invincible, but very sensitive.
Their creator is one Ms. Tron Bonne, who you may have heard me obsess over before (Fanboy at heart that I am). She loves them like her children, but apparently believes in all that "Spare the rod, spoil the child etc" nonsense and has them run through a TORTURE COURSE if they misbehave. I love that woman.
And regarding me giving you Tron Bonne Hentai: NO.
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!
I hate you. Please rephrase that as a question.
Why do I hate you? Because I'm a small minded jerk with limited intelligence who makes fun of other cultures out of a total lack of understanding. I ALSO SUK GAY DICKS ASSHOLE FAGET!!!!